The Horns: W6: Blowout City

Week six was upon us where teams make their final push towards the playoff bracket that they want. Yes…some teams like the B Bracket.

The opening game was Rage of Doom versus the Battletoads. The Toads at one time were undefeated at three and zero. Now they’re just…well defeated. Three straight losses and this one to a ROD squad that featured just half of it’s stacked all-american blue chip roster. ROD went beast modes and blew their loads all over the Toads in exquisite fashion, 45-18.

Last weeks MVP, Dan Walkley took some time off his busy autograph signing tour to lay the smack down on the Shotgunnaz at 8:50am. David Hamilton balled out for the losers but this isn’t the NBA and one player won’t do it. Derek Riley slings six TD passes to six different receivers in this murdering of the Shotgunnaz A playoff hopes. Scoreagsms take the road dub, 44-18.

The Strokes and the Phantoms squared off at 9:40 and this one got a bit chippy, but in a good way? The kind of way that men wanted to see who could yell the loudest for no reason at all. Twas fun to watch from the sidelines with my fox friend. The Phantoms were in this one in the first half, til the Strokes realized they were just better and decided to win. The Strokes are finally looking like they’re supposed to…mediocre. Strokes blowout the Phantoms thanks to the second half wind direction diverting Phantom field goals. Strokes win 32-12.

Flagnado kept the storm spinning as they finally welcomed back their “star” QB. He shook the rust off a led an aerial assault all over the Nightmare’s secondary. This game was considered a blowout because the Nightmare couldn’t score touchdowns but Flagnado kept the Nightmare in this game. If it wasn’t for the turf monster, this game was one turnover away from the Nightmare getting their second victory of the season. Flagnado wins an ugly one, 19-2…yes two.

The paperwork has just been finalized at the league office, Shake n’Bake is officially changing their team name to “PICK SIX.” I wish I started their defense in my daily fantasy league because, I wouldn’t need all my players who didn’t show up to actually show up. Shake n’Bake hangs 48 on the Children in this one. Sad, because they were just finally starting to grow up. Shake n’Bake 48. America’s Children zero.

If there were a BGOW, the Vikings and Tigers would be one. ‘Twas a sloppy game and all out of faith, not a Viking was scoring, not even a Forsaith. The Vikings were short, from their roster of course, no wonder teams are scoring TD’s all or sorts. Rotella tossed one up with his paw, for only a center to catch, Ryan Hollenbaugh. He did it once and thought it was nice, so why not try again, to make it twice. The Vikings came back in classical fashion, Nate connected with his wideout, friend RJ Gagnon. Josh Briand scored and the Vikings had hope, but it was all over, like in prison without soap on a rope. Hollenbaugh ended with a simple catch, a pick six from air in which he just snatched. The Tigers survived, a depleted squad, but a win is a win, so now let’s applaud.

The second half of the Vikings doubleheader saw them up against the Raiders. In a matchup of NFL namesakes, the Vikings continued their struggles. No Randy Moss or Dante Culpeppper. It was Kirk Cousins on Monday Night Football (0-9 in his career until this past Monday), versus the Tecmo Bowl Raiders. The Vikings have four championships, but they don’t have a B championship yet; so maybe they’re just trying to win one of those before they all retire? Anywho, Raiders win 50-19.

One more week in the regular season to go! Now rest up out deer and stay safe. G’luck and Godspeed to all and to all a week six.

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