BLITZ FLAG FOOTBALL

HORNS W6: RATED R

We’re in the home stretch boys and girls..mostly boys..stags. Some people might’ve said last week that my writeups have been “weak” this season, so I guess what you’re saying is you want me to be meaner? Go for the feelings a little more? Okay you want it, you got it. Please no children allowed in the reindeer games to follow.

The Devilz and Reign actually played a good game together. The expectations of this game were impossible to underestimate. Reign won thanks to Randy catching the money ball out of bounds by a few feet. The money ball failed worse than their dad’s condom did.

Primetime took on Flagnado across the way in a team battle of guys who look like they all swim in above ground pools with T-Shirts on. After a close game in the first half Flagnado pulled away with the charm and charisma of a burning orphanage.

In a game that smelt like it wiped back to front, the Toads hung in there for a bit against the Rage before getting blown out. Speaking of blowing, if only the Toads could suck themselves off, they would officially suck at everything this season.

Strokes Tigers. This game kind of writes itself in this oxygen stealing matchup. Strokes can’t score on or off the field. The Tigers are red, the Strokes are blue, the Strokes lost again, what else is new.

The Carnage and Vikings, duked it out in a championship preview perhaps at 10 o’clock. Is it just me or does it seem like the Vikings have Forsaith’s popping up everywhere… on the field, on the sideline etc. They’re so inbred they should rename the team to Sandwich.

In a matchup of OG’s vs YG’s, the Scoregasms got the best of New Wave in this new heated rivalry. A dirty play, a dirty hit and chest puffing got New Wave walking out of a colonoscopy appointment this morning because they so butthurt.

The finale of the shortened week saw America’s Children and the Shotgunnaz square off in a matchup as useful as a chocolate teapot. Both teams were sloppy but America’s Children came out on top. This game looked like something I wrote with my left hoof and something that bambi’s mother should’ve swallowed.

Anyways; I would love to keep insulting everyone but I’ll stop because I feel like mother nature did a good enough job with all of you. Til next week…

~Blitzy

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