BLITZEN’S HORNS: W4

What can I say? Week four is kind of my favorite in a way because it’s the midway point! I love being half way done because that’s half way to my B playoff appearance.

The first game of week four was a thriller and a half. Neither team played any defense which is why it went way over Rocker’s over/under of 41. What’s worse than being in the position to have to use the money ball against the Toads? Being the Toads and actually allowing it to be converted. The road to the B’s is halfway there.

The undefeated Carnage took on the Tigers across the pond. If it weren’t for two pick sixes in the first half, this game would’ve been competitive. The Tigers lack of attendance has them looking like cubs at the circus and Dane is the ringmaster holding the whip. Though I suspect some Tigers might actually like that. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I feel like all I have done this season is talk about the Rage and Strokes. They have both been massively underachieving. So how do I poke fun at both them when they play each other? Well, I guess I can say that the Rage beat a crappy team so they might still stink? Or maybe, the league’s golden boy is learning what it’s like to not have any receivers. I think that’s it. I’m pretty sure I can throw it further than him.

Flagnado took on the Raiders in what most call a B championship preview. I think I’ll pick Flagnado to pose with this season because right now they play like a bunch of posers.

What’s worse than being the team that’s lost every game it’s franchise has ever played? Being the team that gives them their first victory. Ouch, tough day to be a Primetime fan.

The Scoregasms picked up a win against the LOD. LOD hasn’t looked this depleted since they were Blue Balls of Doom and they choked in the first round of every years playoffs.

Remember when Reign came out in week one and smoked everyone in their opening day double header??? Yea, me neither. By the way, Jordan’s furniture called…they want their women’s softball jerseys back.

I feel all games, no matter the outcome or circumstance we can always give each one a little respectful roasting. But some games just deserve a snout steamer, an antler shake and a hoof plant to my face. I was asked by a stranger on the sideline if there was some sort of purse or prize money at the culmination of the bout from the pair of amateur bare-knuckle pugilists he had been witnessing. I jokingly replied “a t-shirt” and he walked away laughing at me. I exclaimed, “it’s a 50/50 cotton blend!” But he just didn’t get it, he never will. Football is life am I right? Anyways, I digress…onto week five

~Blitzy

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