BLITZ FLAG FOOTBALL

BLITZEN’S HORNS: W3

Week three was quite a week. We had forfeits 45 minutes before the game, forfeits the nights before and hospital induced forfeits in the wee hours of the morning. Must be something in the water I guess, we go one week without rain and look what happens!? Jeesh.

So what happened this week…hmmm…Oh yea..

  • The Strokes didn’t have Durand and they completed just seven passes the whole game. Plus side for them is they rushed for a season high 88 yards! Too bad that was on 43 carries. Scoregasms won 25-12 in a snoozefest with a second half that featured ZERO points combined.
  • The Dream Killers didn’t have enough guys to play so they properly rescheduled with the Devilz. Down side is the Devilz didn’t tell Tim Doss who was at the field with his hot dog in his hands hooves til we told him to go home. Ooopsies.
  • The game of the week was between the Goonies and Legion of Doom. Both teams sniffed each others butts at the dog park all week long leading up to it. Brandon Gomes is going hard for the Rookie of the year, he scored a pair of TD’s for the Goonies. On the first drive and the last drive of the first half. The half of the team that wasn’t in Baltimore for LOD was able to score zero in the first half. Good thing Vinnie Frasco wasn’t tall enough to be on that AFFL team cuz otherwise LOD wouldn’t have stood a chance cuz he took over the second half. He scored Back-to-Back TD’s then a big mouth penalty by the Goonies got Jamaal Woods over the line for the extra point winner. Goonies never say die, but they do say a lot of other things that this four legged mammal isn’t privied to typing.
  • At 9:30 it was a battle of overachieving B bracket broken bretheren. Flagnado’s fermenting five flustered the furious frenzy of fireballing flings from the Insanity offense. Five interceptions sealed the deal for Flagnado..they win again but fortunately for the rest of the league..they still suck.
  • What was supposed to be a matchup of epic proportions, the Rage and Tigers game was rescheduled…err…kind of. Thanks to a doctors note from their parents the Rage might be able to make this game up. The worst part of this game not happening; we didn’t get the chance to see Sanford play defense for an entire game.
  • Tune Squad dismantled the Battletoads who are without battle this season. Me personally am surprised this even happened because it looked like Tune Squad was going to need an oxygen tank to get to the field from the parking lot.
  • Next up was New Wave Shotgunnaz! I know what you’re all thinking; championship preview right? Well mayBEEEE..get it? See what I did there? BEEE? cuz they’re both gonna be in the B’s..no? Ok..anyways…New Wave unleashed Riley Hoffman finally who had been riding the bench the first two games. Feed the big man, he needs to eat.
  • The Bandits got tied up on the railroad tracks by Boris and Natasha and couldn’t make it out to the game so America’s Children took the easy Dub.
  • Ok for real this time, Vikings Carnage is actually a possibility of a championship preview and this went down at noon. The Vikings brought a new guy who can jump really high and carry the ball like a loaf of bread while the Carnage brought their usual suspects. The usual suspects did their usual things against the Vikings which caused the usual result. A big L..as per usual. That’s two L’s Carnage, do you hear that? Them honeyB’s BEEE circling.
  • The final game of the day saw Primetime and the Coyotes play. Primetime may not be great right now but they have really nice jerseys if you like the slime that turned the Ninja Turtles into mutants. Oh, and they’re really good at getting safeties. More safeties this game than touchdowns. This is a huuuge strategy that no one has thought to utilize yet.

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