BLITZ FLAG FOOTBALL

W2: BLITZENS HORNS

Some of yous guys think you’re all funny and cool with your hands and opposable thumbs and what not. You clearly don’t like my roast segment as much as the weekly write-ups. Well lemme tell you something…you want write-ups!? You can write em! You try typing with hooves.

Anyways; here’s my take on each game from week two:

  • At 8am during a battle of beer league teams, the Strokes came out the victor. They threw up all over those orange Shotgunnaz jerseys and actually did them a favor.
  • The next game, the Rage dismantled the Toads kind of. The Toads had Kepka go off until Garrett lowered his pink hat and bumped heads to knock himself and Kepka out. Rage win on paper, Toads lose but still win cuz they’re the Toads.
  • The Tigers beat the Devilz. Who will score more TD’s this season? The Devilz whole team, LaFond, or Me??? Wait…Plot twist..they sign LaFond??
  • New Wave lost to a bunch of old guys who’s median age was 34, thus making Flagnado’s center old enough to be their Daddy. Granted they would’ve rode in the back seat together but still.
  • Insanity miraculously keeps winning. Oh wait…no they’re just playing the Dream Killers.
  • The Scoregasms wanted to win so bad they used their money ball in week two. Too bad this isn’t the Scoregasms of 2013. I mean it is roster wise but they’re all really old now.
  • Colon had more catches against the Coyotes at 11 than he will have sacks all season. Write that down.
  • The Game of the Week between the Strokes and LOD lived up to the hype! In the first half anyways. Then reality set in and LOD’s depth destroyed the Strokes’ Vinegar and red faces.
  • At noon America’s Children took on the Goonies. Yep, that game happened.
  • Tune Squad got back on track with a dismantling of the Bandits. Never has a team survived so many laterals in one game and survived. Well good news..the Bandits did..kind of.
  • And lastly, the Carnage are itching for me to talk about them; so hi Carnage we all love you very much except for the fact that we don’t. byeeeeeeee

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