Week one is in the books and today we introduce a new segment written by our mascot Blitzen. Well not written, but scribed because he can’t type. He actually can’t speak either but in the Blitz headquarters, we speak reindeer so here’s what he said (he’s mean btw).

  • The Vikings were too scared to face LOD that they paid the rescheduling fee to not have to take the whooping.
  • Cruzy aint the only guy that can stir the pot in this league. Your jersey is as tight as your coverage on D…20 years ago.
  • The Goonies added some dope pieces..too bad they still got Alex
  • How many jerseys do the Rage have now? New jerseys and Jimmy still doesn’t fit wear one.
  • Insanity finally won a game that means something! Oh wait..nope they didn’t.
  • Flagnado should rename themselves Flag-puddle after that trash offensive gameplan.
  • It’s nice to see the Toads back to being the Toads again. Thriving for dem Bee belts.
  • An Auburn QB got drafted this weekend while another beat..Tune Squad.
  • Primetime seems impossible to underestimate.
  • Shotgunnaz and Bandits played each other. Their jerseys look like I lifted my leg all over the field.
  • Don’t get sick from the New look New Wave. Yawning is contagious.

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