WEEK SIX: AND THEN THERE WERE NONE

Week six was a game of double headers and hard hitters. It was also a week that we saw the final undefeated team fall.

The BLITZ GAME OF THE WEEK came at 7am. It started off with a foggy rivalry that dates back to 2014 between a pair of former champions in the Vikings and the Tigers. The game was almost as sloppy as the field conditions as no one could cut, plant or burn with the field conditions resembling that of the aftermath of the mud bowl. The Vikings took an early first half lead thanks to a Dez Manning 3 yard out on fourth down from the Tigers 3 yard line. The Vikings D stood firm as they bent but did not break the entire half, not allowing a single point to the explosive Tigers offense. The second half was a bit of a different story. The Vikings D that had been so stout in the first half, let the slippery Keith Labrecque take a little 5 yard cross from his own 6 over the middle right into the endzone. He spun and shook his way through outstretched defenders hands who missed every opportunity to take him down. The game was then knotted up at 6’s. The Vikings next drive found them in a precarious situation once again. On fourth and long they went for the homerun and struck out. Jake Forsaith connected with Evan White of the Tigers for a game shifting interception. The Tigers offense then went to work. On second down, AJ Rotella aired one out to Dave Brown who layed out and made a spectacular grab in the endzone to go up by 7. The Vikings final drive was haulted when the Tigers forced a fumble in the middle of the field to ice it. The Tigers comeback and win 13-6 while handing the Vikings their most losses in a single season since 2013.

The 8am game was a battle of red hot teams when the Metrowest Boomin went on the road to take on America’s Children. Jay Davis collected an interception in the first half for Metrowest Boomin but that was about the only blip on the radar for the Boomin as they came out flat from the jump. The Children’s defense was smothering all day as Boomin could only manage 4 first downs in the game’s’ entirety. QB Patrick O’Donnell and WR Tom Scalley continued their aerial assault on the league as the two connected on 3 more TD passes in this one. Scalley has now caught one touchdown for every three receptions his way. O’Donnell and Scalley were aided in the air by Devin Conley and Joey Burnham who each caught TD’s for the winners in this one. America’s Children win and set up a battle for the B one seed next weekend, 33-0.

A lackluster crossover game took place at 8:30 as Flagnado took on a shorthanded Scoregasms team. The Scoregasms jumped out to an early lead scoring by way of Travis Tripodi in the back of the endzone. Flagnado answered back on their next drive thanks to a jump ball like a man TD grab by Dylan Humphrey. After a Scoregasms turnover on downs, Jake Tinirella went to work for Flagnado. He didn’t eat on the scoring sheet, but he ate up the Scoregasms D all day, rushing for almost 200 yards. Tinirella converted a big 4th and short to set up another Flagnado TD. This time by Jeff Kucher who snagged in a tip ball in the back of the endzone to give them what looked like a 6 points lead going into the half. The Scoregasms were content taking what Flagnado gave them as the clock expired, until a missed tackle and another missed tackle led to another Travis Tripodi TD to tie it up at 12’s at the break. As Tinirella racked up the rushing yards, Dylan Humphrey would be there to score. Humphrey caught 2 more TD’s in the second half to combat a Scoregasms Leon Lackiram TD to hold onto the W. Flagnado wins it’s third straight, 26-18.

In a much anticipated matchup, the Tigers played the second wind of their double header against the Blue Balls of Doom. The Tigers are usually the ferocious beasts, but in this one, they fell flat. In what could be a title preview matchup, the Tigers managed just 6 points against one of the league’s top defensive units. The Blue Balls welcomed back Jordan Miranda who has missed the previous 5 games due to a lengthy contract negotiation. Management won the battle as they wooed Miranda back with the promise of fresh cleats and crisp gloves before each game. Miranda wowed the home team fans in his first game back racking up 100 plus YAC, a pair of TDs and endless amounts of broken Tiger ankles. Dave Martel put his name in the MVP race with 3 more passing TD’s to go along with a rush TD and 7 more tackles. He is now just 9 tackles away from a single season Blitz record. The Blue Balls of Doom get help from everyone in a jersey as they hand the Tigers their first loss, 27-6.

The B game of the week came at 9:45 between Illmatic and the New England Knocks. A man named Chris Rodriguez aka “Shrek” on his first Blitz catch, on his first Blitz possession, caught a 2 yard dump off and took it down the sideline all the way to the house for six to slant the scoreboard for Illmatic first. The Knocks quickly responded by way of Taylor McCarthy. He caught toe tapping ball in the corner of the endzone to pull his team within a point. Illmatic’s offensive weapon then got going. On the next drive, Justin Vasquez hauled in 3 targets, one of which went for a TD in the back corner for 6. It appeared as though Illmatic had a solid lead going into halftime but the Knocks made magic happen in the final minute. Using both of their timeouts and the sidelines, Dave Salvie punched in his first career TD to balance the scores at the half. Right out the lockers, Vasquez struck again. He caught a deep post over the top of the safety to put Illmatic up once again. After the Knocks stalled out on their own offensive end, Illmatic took over dreaming of a 2 score lead. Not all dreams come true in the land of Blitz because defensive player of the year nominee, Dave Duong registered his first career interception and streaked up the sideline to tie it up at 19’s. For the fans of the home team, their visions of Halloween victories were shattered on the next Illmatic drive. Tyler Hartt spun around two defenders and snuck between two more for the game-winner with 8 minutes left to play. The Knocks got close, but failed to convert an equalizer two more times. Illmatic wins in dramatic fashion, 26-19.

All week on the Blitz Facebook Forum, the Vikings and Goonies was a matchup of epic proportions. Vikings honks and historians had them in a blowout. Goonies fanboys and wives said they will win. The ball tells the truth, not Facebook and Bookies (or does it?). This one was sloppy from the get go; not play sloppy but actually sloppy. The field conditions went from wet and slippery to muddy and swampy. Much like the first game of the day, the conditions ruined the level of football to be played. The Vikings were led by Moss Forsaith and Dez Manning who each caught of pair of TD’s to boot. The Goonies fought hard and were led by the league’s leading TD receiver, Craig Maynard. Maynard chipped in with another pair of TD’s for his third straight game.  Despite a bloody lip and fractured orbital bone, Will Washington did his thing for the Goonies. He racked up 7 receptions for 110 yards and touchdown. The Goonies just didn’t back down in this one as they were left knocking on the doorstep three times in a row and couldn’t punch it in. The game ended in a scrum between the center and Blitzer for the Goonies. Vikings hang on and split their doubleheader, 26-25.

Despite what these writers tell you, the B game of the day was a coin toss between the aforementioned Illmatic and Knocks game, with this one; Young Dynasty vs the Ultimate Warriors. This was literally a back and forth battle for when one team scored, the other answered right back. Rookie of the Year nominee, Larry Dirocco caught the game’s first TD over the middle on a little dump screen for the Ultimate Warriors. Bayou Bill Condurelli of Young Dynasty responded with a 60 yard bomb down the sideline to tie it. Dirocco then caught a little wobbler over the middle and plowed his way into the endzone to put the Warriors up by 6. That was then followed a Tyler Baker TD pull within a point at halftime. Bayou Bill got the burners going again on the first play of the second half. Condurelli beat the safety for a second time and streaked up the sideline for his second 60 yard TD of the game. And just as prefaced, the Ultimate Warriors countered immediately. Freddie Rodriguez snuck up the sideline and caught a fly route for 60 yards to go in front by 3. Tyler Baker casually caught TD in between two colliding Warrior defenders to give Dynasty a temporary lead. The Ultimate Warriors marched the ball down to the 2 on their next possession setting up an Alex Golden pick play TD to go up again. Then finally Tim Deleo put it out of reach for the Warriors. Deleo spun his way out of flags grasp and dove into the endzone for the lead for good. Young Dynasty would add a safety sack and another Baker TD in garbage time to close it out. The Ultimate Warriors drop their fifth straight, 39-28.

Insanity and Beast Mode squared off at 11:15. People expected this to be a fun matchup between a pair of underperforming rookie squads. Beast mode was looking to build off it’s overtime thriller a week ago while Insanity looked to build an actual winning streak. It seems as though we can’t go a week without mentioning Insanity’s rookie wideout, Nkongolo Harmel. He lit up the stat book again in this one hauling in a TD to go along with an Interception. Filly Belt (cool name right) made his first real impact in an Insanity uniform. QB Joe Page ran his receivers deep down field leaving only Belt as an emergency dump off. Belt took the dump off and stiff-armed his way 50 yards down field for his first TD in purple. Garrett Barry made a pair of outstanding TD grabs one of which resembled Dwight Clark in the 1981 NFC Championship. Beast Mode didn’t have much to write home about aside from a pair of Andrew Lam interceptions. Insanity earns their first winning streak, 25 zip.

Fresh off their crossover game from a week ago, the Battletoads rallied for another one and took on the defending champion Rage. It’s Halloween weekend and has become customary that the Penguin slings the ball, the Gorilla catches the ball, and Axel Rose pulls flags..for the Toads. This might have worked as a fear tactic for other teams, but not the Rage. They take this game serious 100 and have no times for a bunch of drunks casual drinkers in costumes. This game was out of hand in the first 5 minutes when the Rage jumped out to a 26 point lead. From there it got goofy. The Rage kept scoring so the Toads shed their costumes and played for reals after the break. The Toads actually took the second half 4 TD’s to to 3 but at that point, it was too late. The Rage win this one in an actual laughter (cuz they were having fun for a change), 46-25.

Some days start as good as they finish and most days end the other way. On this day, the last game between the Punishers and 603 Mafia; was the latter. Here’s the long story short version of the first half: First JMac scored, then Chris Rocker scored a rushing TD, then Vinnie Frasco of 603 made one hell of a touchdown a la Santonio Holmes in Super Bowl 43, then Shizz got a safety sack, then Mikey Bags scored, then Angel Rivera got a pressure safety sack, then…it was halftime. Now here’s the second half short version: Shizz scored all by his lonesome, Ryan Post countered for 603, Dane Shindler got a pick and the game was over. The Punishers dominated from start to finish and let off the gas in the second when Alex Kahl started playing QB. 603 Mafia falls at home, 37-13.

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