…is just a few short sleeps away, so here’s what you need to prepare for the big day of the Blitz new start that we’re calling “REBIRTH.”
Q1. Where is the field this season?
A: At a brand spanking new field at Gateway Hills Health Club. The management there has been awesome in helping us out and keeping this thing going. They have shown great respect to us, so please let’s show the same to them and the security guard that will be attending each week.
Q2. Any new rule changes?
A. No rule changes but there are a couple lifestyle changes that we all must adhere to. First off; this is a private facility which means what they say goes, so you can’t try to break the rules or sneak around them. It is a trash in, trash out facility. So please bring a trash bag for your Gatorades and/or waters. We say those types of liquids because there is no longer any drinking allowed at the field. The first sign of beer cans in the trash or bottles in the parking lot, will cause all of us to be banned and you will be the reason; way to go bruh; good luck trying to sleep at night when the whole league hates you. Kidding, but not really. Also the thing that is most sad, moreso than your adult beverages is your pets. Please do not bring your pets to the field as they will be kicked off immediately as well. Again, these are rules that we all must adapt to for Blitz Fun. Sorry for any inconvenience it may cause but it’ll be winter time for most weeks, and your little doggos might be too cold to sit there anyways.
Q3. I thought last season was the “last dance” why are you still going?
A: Last Dance was goodbye to the old format. New blood, new management, new partnerships, new ideas and new beginnings will grow the Blitz brand into a lifestyle for the whole family to enjoy.
Q4. Ok, I don’t get that at all but whatever…do we play in the rain and snow?
A: No. If the weather is deemed to be too inclement, then your captain will receive a text about the situation of the games. It may mean later start times, or a total reschedule.
Q5. Can I play for an A team and B team?
A: No, sorry. Tom Brady can’t play for the Bucs and the Lions so you can’t either.
Q6. We ask this question every year but can you explain the playoff eligibility again?
A. So for rookies and players in their second year of competition (second season, not second game in your second season because you played one game last year as a fill-in, second season on a roster), you must attend at least FOUR of your teams seven scheduled games. If you are in your third year or more, you only have to attend THREE games. This includes injuries as some players try to hide their other league/tournament conflicts by being “injured” and not able to play and be present. Sorry but Blitz is life (duh), if you can’t commit; don’t play. You’re only hurting your team wasting the roster spot.
Q7. Do I need my own flags?
A. You don’t but it is proffered. Most people have their own custom flags and belts of their own design. Be like the cool kids, order some and call them your own. We will have a some for purchase at the field again this season.
Q8. Is there a roster size limit?
A. Unfortunately there is. With 5 v 5, the max will be 12 players on the roster. Sadly only 10 can dress each week, it’s safe to have those extra two in the case of injuries or work conflicts.
Q9. Can I add to my roster during the season?
A. Of course. At any time, anyone can come and play and be added to your roster. But they will not be able to play in the playoffs unless they meet the eligibility requirements as listed above.
Q10. What’s the field address? Sorry I feel like I should’ve asked that earlier.
A. Just type in 100 Innovative Way, Nashua, NH into your GPS/google machine and you’ll be Gucci.
Q11. Fumbles still?
Q12. Defense forces it, then they take over?
A. Yep. But if you fumble in traffic and can’t see who or anyone touches it, the defense also takes over. Protect ya nuts for the winter little squirrels.
Q13. What if I slap it down and goes out of bounds?
A. Then defense takes over. Since fumbles aren’t live, wherever it hits the ground, is in fact a turnover. Hold onto that ball because the lines cannot save you.
Q14. What if the ball pops up from me running and the defense catches it in midair?
A. Then the defense can return it. The only dead balls, are the ones that hit the ground…and your grandfathers.
Q15. Where can I run the ball from? Like a handoff or a backwards lateral?
A. Anywhere except inside the TEN yard line. If a pass is forward in any manner, even if behind the line of scrimmage; shovel, pitch etc, then it is allowed for all 60 yards of the field.
Q16. Um…is there grounding?
A. There isn’t intentional grounding, however if under duress, the QB throw away MUST pass the line of scrimmage or out of bounds. If the QB is facing a seven second clock violation without a rush, then the said QB can throw the ball anywhere they please to avoid penalty.
Q17. Anything new this season?
A. New podcast guests and hosts. But the biggest new thing this season is, Respect. Respect the call, the field and lastly, Respect each other. This is for fun, no one is making any money…like literally…not even the crew is making the new inflated rate of projected pay.
Q18. Where is the rest of the schedule?
A. It’s in the cloud. Everyone has a lot of plans and a lot of changes so we’re trying our best to accommodate them accordingly. The entire schedule will be out next week.
Q19. Who won it all last year?
A. ST took home the belt last season and I’m sure they’re gonna let everyone know about it again this season. Can you take them down? Who knows; that’s why we play the game.
Q20. Will there still be weekly prizes for Spreads?
A20. Yes there will be. There will also be a new secret game this season to win prizes as well.
Q21. Um, like what kind of game? Can you give me a hint?
A. Sure. Think DraftKings and dropdown menus. Is that too much of hint? Oh well. It’ll be fun.
That’ll do it fellas.
First rule of REBIRTH this season is:
We do not talk about REBIRTH.
The second rule of REBIRTH is:
We forget the first rule completely
and just respect the field rules.
That’s really the only rule actually.