BLITZ FLAG FOOTBALL

W5: YOU SMELL LIKE PHYS ED


What a late start to the season am I right? Oh wait, we’re passed that already; we’re onto week five. If we started our usual time in early September, we would be hitting our playoff stride right about now. Which to be honest, would suck if this were the playoffs because the mud and rainy slop puts everyone on the a more similar plane.

The start of week five started exactly how week one and three and four started, in the rain. The Coyotes went on the road to take on Flagnado, each team came into this one with a one game winning streak looking to a foot forward in the A playoff race. Flagnado would not disappoint their hometown fans in this one. Jake Tinirella, Jerry Brown and Dylan Humphrey would all find the endzone in the first half by way of ghosted Coyotes defense. In the second half, Nick Sapienza walked right up to the front desk and asked “Howl do you do?” as he scored his third TD of the season. Flagnado’s defense puts up a shutout while the nocturnal Coyotes sleep their points away 28-0.

In a matchup dating back to 2013, the Scoregasms and Battletoads squared off at 8:25. Both teams have improved immensely since back then winning championships of the A and B varieties. On this day, the Scoregasms of the Fall of 2013 showed up to face off against the Toads of the Spring of 2015 (Champions vs one singular win). Marcus Odiah chipped in with a pair of first half TD’s for the ‘Gasms while Scott Daniliek, Dan Walkley and Tyler Tripodi added TD’s of their own in the second. The Toads had a mashup of Ben Phelps and Glenn Ruggerio touchdowns in the second half to cut into the Scoregasms lead. Alas like their hit latest hit single about the Vikings, this game was a flop. The Battletoads sink in the mud like an old lilly pad 32-12.

America’s Children and TMoney Tigers went into battle across the way in the muddy circus tent. This game was a BGOW nominee thanks to intense rain and an onslaught of mud induced incompletions and touchdowns. The Tigers kicked off the scoring by way of Evan Witkus, who continues his rookie hot start. He and his QB AJ Rotella connected from the ‘Murica 28 on a deep post beating two Children defenders for the score. After a Dave Brown interception, Rotella marched his team down to the three yard line where AJ Labrecque would score his second touchdown of the season to take a twelve point lead. America’s Children would then finally strike back and get their chance. Pat O’Donnell found a wide open Tom Scalley in the corner who slid into the endzone to cut the lead in half. Pesky Dave Brown would strike again though on the extra point. He picked off the pass and won a foot race sixty yards for two points. Tigers up eight at the break. The second half featured deeper muddy divots causing several turnover on downs and soiled pigskin a plenty. It was finally with just 85 seconds left on the clock that AJ Labrecque would score his second touchdown of the day. He spun from the fifteen into a sea of Children where no flag was yet pulled. Then again at the five another spin, and alas the Children could not grasp the satiny glossed flag-a-tag banderole that hung from the midriff of the swirling Labrecque. Tigers go up twelve. America’s Children in their final possession marched the ball down the field with ease. Almost as if the conditions were no longer a factor. O’Donnell slung a quick out to Scalley once again to pull with eight. With the money ball on the line and only three seconds left to play, there was a zero chance win probability for the Children, so they got their two point conversion and went home. Tigers hang on with yet another gutty victory, 20-14.

One would think a matchup between the expansion Knights and the reigning champion Vikings would be a blowout at first sight but little did they know, the Knights have some fight..literally. The Vikings jettisoned out to a 20-6 lead in the first half thanks to a pair of Anwar Clarke TD’s sandwiched around a Dez Manning TD. JJ Cruz got a touchdown in the for the Knights to keep it within the distance of a mere thrusting lance. The second half is where the fireworks blasted off. Felix Torres benefitted from an errant Vikings pass that earned himself a pick six to pull within a score. Dez Manning struck again shortly after to put the Vikings up by twelve. On the ensuing Knights possession, David Carrion caught a slanting pass and trekked through the mud and swarms of Vikings defenders to pull within eight. They converted the two point conversion and trailed by just six points with six minutes to play. After a four and out from each team, the Vikings put the sword through the armor of the Knights. Anwar Clarke struck again for the hat trick. Vikings hang on in a nail biter, 34-20.

The 10am game between the Vinegar Strokes and Legion of Doom was free from the regalement and pageantry of the days previous athletic undertakings. The first half was as close as this game would be. Vinnie Frasco got the scoring started with a pick six for LOD shortly there followed by a Flash wheel for a thirty yard score. Chad Crocket would cut the LOD lead in half with a crossing route that he took into the endzone for his fifth score of the season. Flash struck again right out of the locker room with another thirty yard touchdown. The Strokes would respond instantly by way of Travis Dumont from Ben Durand. Legion of Doom then took off and would not look back. Al Andrews doubled up the Strokes score with a fifty yard scoring reception. And on the next LOD drive, Frasco would rush up the gut and back pedal into the endzone as time expired..kind of. LOD wins handily, 33-12.

After a break in the proverbial chain of normality and all things masterful, Metrowest Boomin took on America’s Children in the final leg of their double header. These teams played to a first half mutuality as each tossed a pair of touchdowns and converted on one extra point. For Boomin, Jay Davis connected with Zach Cordelli twice for two touchdowns. For America’s Children, O’Donnell hooked up with Tom Scalley and a man they call Texas for TD’s. In the second half, Boomin’s Matt Lavoie caught a pass from Davis and then took it down to the one yard line, where Greg Lavoie would punch it in. Scalley would find the endzone one more time for the Children beating all the coverage over the top. The game-winner came when subtly often used offensive weapon Darrin Standish stepped up. O’Donnell threw an arching moonball over everyone where Standish would catapult to the sky using the shoulders of Cory Allen, backflip to free his cleats of mud, then kick his heels eat a sandwich and on the way down, catch the ball. America’s Children wins a big conference game, 25-19.

Now the moment of the day, the actual Blitz Game of the Week, week five. The Athletes who have been going on a tear this year blowing everyone out took on the bipolar uber deep rostered Goonies. The Athletes struck first on their first possession. Matt Bailey tossed a laser down the sideline to Melvin Bonilla for a sixty yard score. On their next drive, Bailey passed to a Jay Vance over the middle who flipped it back to Bonilla who jetted up the sideline for the rushing touchdown. Ya know, because he rushed it into the endzone and he wasn’t thrown the ball by the quarterback, similarly to how the NFL and NCAA would score a touchdown. Not similarly, but exactly how they would score it. So anyways…the Goonies then got on the board. Craig Maynard caught a leaping touchdown to cut into the Athletes lead. Bonilla struck again this time from the four yard line on a little out towards the pylon. Will Washington of the Goonies then took a flip from his own twenty yard line and followed his blockers into the endzone to pull within four points at hafltime. The second half featured equally as much action as did the first half, just this half featured zero defense. Dee Jennings from the slot caught his second touchdown of the season to go up by ten and then eleven thanks to the extra point. Offensive Player of the Year candidate, Garrett Nelson then took over the Goonies. He caught his eighth touchdown of the season to pull his Goonies within four points. Dee then dipped and hovered over the mud for six more, followed by Nelson again with one minute and twenty seconds left to play. Just two plays later, Bonilla wrangled in his fourth touchdown of the day for the Athletes to put them up by eleven. Craig Maynard broke through the muddy conditions and hauled in his second TD to pull back within five measly points. It’s now Money Ball time. In a last ditch effort with hopes of a miraculous comeback, the Goonies used their Money ball card to upset Vegas and the Athletes. They broke the huddle and with two rushers coming at him, Steve Tambouris launched a missile to Nelson. He corralled the pass with his back facing the endzone and as he propelled his body towards the endzone, the player of the game saved it for the Athletes. Bonilla snuck into the crowd and snatched his slippery flag from his waist downing him at the three yard line. Video evidence claims to prove there was a sixth member of the defense on the field, but due to the rainy conditions, the technology could not be recovered. The Athletes hang on and win a big game against the Goonies, 38-33.

The high noon game is usually slated for a shootout at the okay corral, but on this day, it was more like a shoot for one team and an out for the other. The Rage put up 51 points solely on the left James McIntyre Sanford the Third. Anthony Williams then Brian Bebyn twice and finally Andrew Howard in the first half. Insanity got on the board in the second half thanks to a 60 yard scamper by the King himself to nullify the Rage shutout. Sanford would then connect with Chris Yin, Bebyn, Yin and Martel to complete the scoring for the day. Brandan Vaillancourt capped the games’ score with his team leading fourth touchdown of the season as time expired for Insanity. The Rage win with ease, 51-12.

The second half of the Scoregasms double-dip came at 12:45 against Illmatic. The Scoregasms did what they did best in this one, score. On the first play of the game, Nano caught a comeback at their own twelve yard line and then trekked his way 48 more yards down the middle of the field for the touchdown. On the Scoregasms next drive, Dan Walkley was left standing all by himself in the back of the endzone for six more. Then Nano again and Scott Daniliek who picked off an Illmatic pass and then caught a 25 yard touchdown to close the half. Daniliek right after the band dispersed, caught his second pass and second TD of the game. The Scoregasms would score two more long winded clock eating touchdowns to finish the game. Illmatic didn’t have much fight in this one as they fall, 47 zip

The final game of the day came saw the Dream Killers take on the Carnage. The Dream Killers kept this one close in the first two minutes and then never got it closer again. Kyle Twiss latched onto a Guy Pederzani bomb for his second TD of the season. Carnage would then release their venom into the melatonin of the Dream Killers. Christian Reyes caught back-to-back-to-back touchdowns to complete the touchdown hat trick early in the first half. When things are bad, sometimes they from bad to worse for bad luck dreamers. Carnage quarterback Dane Schindler, threw a dart in the direction of Austin Williams. The defenders popped the ball up into the air, had in their hands and then it slipped out of the bottom right towards an awaiting pair of pillowy hands from Williams. Carnage would step off the gas a bit in the second half as Williams scored their lone TD. Carnage wins their third straight, 33-6.

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