ATHLETES take route 66 on the BATTLE-LESS TOADS 6
The Athletes put up 66 on the Toads. How did the Toads allow that many points you ask? Well, because the Athletes are back and they are healthy that’s how. The Toads are everyone’s favorite team to love and follow and the Athletes are everyone’s favorite team to hate.? But why? Is it cause they’re better than you? Is it cause they’re better than you and they aren’t afraid to show it? Is it cause they give you bulletin board materiaI? Is it becasue you just don’t like them? Well I believe all of the above to be true and that makes them poised to make a super deep run once again. The Athletes with this domination over the Toads proves to the rest of the league that they don’t care what you say, they are gonna kick you in the teeth and you’re gonna sit there and take it. Bailey throws for 9 TD’s, Deuce runs and catches for TD’s, Melvin catches four touchdowns to go with pick six, and Vance picks two interceptions from the clouds. Athletes win 66-6.
THE CHILDREN’S 27 tops INSANITY’S 18
Insanity still has a lot of learning to do but they got a little closer to getting on their feet in this one. America’s Children put up 27 points for a second straight game but the rain might of gotten the best of them. Insanity was slipping and sliding all over the Children’s mud puddles while the Children were skidding in Insanity’s lack of uniformity (and uniforms). Sure the rain came down hard in this one, but it seems like America’s Children might be ready to make a leap into the big boy matches very soon, Murica wins 27-18.
FLAGNADO SCORES FIRST AND NEVER AGAIN
In another game in the pouring rain, Flagnado and Vinegar Strokes squared off. This one was sloppy from the beginning. Flagnado went up 14 points in the first 4 minutes and the Strokes couldn’t move the ball. Each time the ball hit the ground, it came out a different color. The towels were brown and wet. The pristine white jerseys of the Vinegar Strokes were muddied. Both teams were lucky to get out of this one without any serious injuries as Flagnado picks up their first win of the season 14-8.
GOONIES topple METROWEST BOOMIN
Are the Goonies back? Perhaps even though they were without several key players this week. The Boomin as per usual played physical and kept it close for the most part but just didn’t have the horses to finish the job down the stretch. The Goonies welcomed back Alex Kahl who is just under a year (hmm) maybe over a year removed from ACL surgery. He made his triumphant return in a big way. He caught some passes in this one, even a touchdown! But who knows what was going on cause even Rommel caught a pair of TD’s too. We’re just kidding Rommel, don’t get upset, you’re fantastic in our hearts. It’ll be fun to see this Goonies team in full force come the end of the season because they too seem amped up and raring to go deep. The Goonies get back on track and win 33-13.
VIKINGS edge ‘GASMS in the rain
The Vikings may be the defending champions and it was raining and muddy but was it just me or did they look a tad bit rusty? Not saying the Scoregasms weren’t worthy adversaries, but the Vikings were not playing up to their usual Nordic expectations. The Scoregasms have that Dan Walkley guy who continues to eat up defenses and he almost, just almost single handedly won this one until the Vikings woke up. Walkley pulled a flag from the endzone as Anwar Clark was entering the endzone. Close but not close enough. The Scoregasms may be a dark horse to upset some teams in the Southern River Flag Conference. Vikings come back to win 20-19.
LOD from the top rope on COYOTES
Legion of Doom has a new QB!? Maybeeee? Is there a QB controversy atop the LOD depth chart? Kiel Canada in his 10th season of Blitz has decided to finally throw the ball after years and years of dominating the wide receiver game. In his first game as QB1, he was the milk to the eggs that LOD needed. He scrambled left and right and threw touchdowns east and west. Canada unloaded on the rookie squad and didn’t show remorse. The Coyotes didn’t have much fight as they were ill-prepared for the rain and slop that comes with the term “rain or shine.” Coyotes just didn’t have it in this one as LOD wins in a game that was a lot further away than the score indicates, 19-7.
CARNAGE devours ILLMATIC
Carnage was coming off yet another loss to the Rage last week and came into the rain facing a new and improved Illmatic team. New and improved in some ways but when Carnage took to the field, they were the same Illmatic as seasons ago. Dane Schindler is hungry his second MVP trophy/tshirt this season because he played out of his mind in this one. Aside from his three interceptions just roaming around at safety, he threw six touchdowns and just four incompletions in the games’ entirety. Reigning Rookie of the Year, DJ Ramos is gonna cut into his votes if he keeps performing like he did in this one. Ramos caught just five balls, but four of them were for scores. Ramos YAC’ed up the place with over 1 billion yards after the catch in this one. Carnage shuts out Illmatic plus forty.
ILLMATIC recovers and sleeps well
Illmatic slept well as they beat up on the Dream Killers in the second half of their double dip. John Freese chilled the defense with four touchdown passes to four different receivers. Cory White has been a reception machine so far this season. In just three games he’s racked up 27 catches and five TD’s to boot. In all of last season, White recorded just 22 receptions, so perhaps he’s on his way to comeback player of the year? Or even better…Offensive player of the year? We will see I guess when you all vote at the end of the season. Illmatic wins this slopfest 24 nil.